Jessa Duggar Is Giving Birth Live On TLC

Jessa Duggar

Jessa Duggar

Since Jessa Duggar has the only job that fundamentalist Christianity allows her to have,  and her husband, Ben Seewald, just got a political science “degree” from a community college, the manna from heaven isn’t really raining into bank their account like it should. Not much money to get a good seed going. Thankfully, Jessa Duggar believes in Jesus. And we all know that when one vagina closes and ruins your family’s thirst for attention and TLC checks, Jesus allows another one to open so you can monetize your miracle. God bless.

“Our plan is to have a home birth,” Jessa wrote on her family’s blog, adding that “we have lots of relatives and friends” who have done so. While “we excited and hopeful that our experience will be the same,” Jessa made reference to Jill’s harrowing birth experience in April. “we also realize that sometimes (as in Jill’s case) a transfer to the hospital may be necessary, and our birth plan definitely includes a plan B.” Jessa also revealed that she and Ben are currently “doing some filming” in preparation for the birth of “#BabySeewald” November 1. A source close to production of the specials says Jessa and Ben will not even mention Josh Duggar or the scandals that forced their family off TV.

This baby is due in a month, and TLC has already announced that they will air a special featuring Jessa by the end of the year, so hopefully Jesus will make sure Jessa’s precious ratingsbaby bump doesn’t pop out while the cameras aren’t there. Even if he can’t make that happen because he’s busy protecting America from immigrants, it’s Jessa’s first baby. She’s still tight enough to handle it.

 This is Jules Liesl in a bikini. She has nothing to do with this story. Relax. Let it happen.

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I Don’t Like You In That Way